Oshodi and other unrelated things

I didn't take that picture

“…you are a bastard”

“…your papa, your mama be bastard…”

“…I say you are a bastard”

“…all your pikin na born-throwaway…”

Bloggers don’t get scared O! You guys are aight. The above is only a snippet of a driver-passenger(s) “conversation” in the bus (one of the many) I plied on Saturday. The time was sevenish in the evening, the traffic was mad, the driver was rough, folks were jumpy with tempers on the edge.

Aren’t y’all already asking what I was doing in that bus by that time of the night? I was on my way to Oshodi from Mile 2. Ehen? So you’re now asking what I was doing in both Mile 2 and then Oshodi abi? Oshodi was on the way home and mile 2 was on the way from Festac. What? More Questions? What I was doing in Festac? You know what? Lemme start from the beginning.

In my last post, I hinted that I was supposed to hook up with BIG CRUSH a.k.a radar-blip (from now on, I’ll refer to her simply as banc… don’t even bother; you would never figure out how I arrived at that pseudonym…infact, if you do, I’ll send yu credit :-)). Anyways, I called banc during the week and we couldn’t come up with a venue so we decided that I go to her house on Saturday. I’m naturally scared of other peoples’ parents especially those of girls talk less of fineeee girls. Nevertheless, I threw caution to the wind and agreed to meet her there.

Saturday came.

I was washing my clothes that morning when I felt and saw the onset of a drizzle. I whispered a quiet prayer and the day became clear. I felt immediately that God was on my side. Let me let you in on a little secret: I’ve been praying some one-liners about this whole banc thing; that if it is His will, He should make something work out between myself and her.

But not all signs that day were positive. In one of the buses I entered on my way there some guy was preaching. I usually don’t listen to bus preachers (my reasons would be the subject of another post). However this particular preacher’s voice had a way of penetrating through the sounds of Switchfoot my mp3 payer was emitting (I’m loving Oh! Gravity, by the way) and I was hearing parts of his message. Particularly the part where he says: “…and all you girls going to see your boyfriends…” and goes on to tell a gory story about one such girl that was used for rituals along the way. As I hear him, I tell myself, “well, I’m not a girl so the girls here affected can take note”. As if he read my thoughts, he extends the message to boys going to see girlfriends. My response to that one?: by the second dictionary definition of “girlfriend” which I want to believe he meant, banc is not my girlfriend (at least, not yet :-D). At this point I didn’t want to hear more (cos the next thing would have been clarification of the meaning of the word “girlfriend” to include banc) so I plug in my earphones tightly and hear no more.

I found banc’s house with little difficulty and the ball got rolling… At this point let me summarise my visit:

I’m liking banc a lot:

She’s brilliant, fineeeee, friendly, down-to-earth, listens to rock…. Let me stop here incase banc ever gets to read this; we don’t want doctors to be faced with an extreme case of SHS (Swollen Head Syndrome).

Yep, that was the summary of my visit. Let me expand, we gisted plenty, went out to eat (Tantaliser’s jollof rice is …arrrgh… the thot leaves a bad taste in my my mouth. I guess it was just that day’s rice anyway cos I’ve eaten stuff from tanties more than a few times and those weren’t so bad). We also walked around a bit and talked a bit more. I originally planned to spend 2hrs there; arrived by 1:30pm and left by 6:00pm. Do the maths. My pocket isn’t complaining so much either, so everyone went home happy. In summary, I had a swell time and the best thing is that she said she did too; I like to believe that she wasn’t just being polite.

On the journey back, things weren’t so swell as the initial snippet must have indicated. I was passing through notorious bus stops after dark and honestly couldn’t help remembering the preacher from the to-trip. I got home safely though. Thank God. And I’m yet to be convinced that He isn’t on my side. Though certain things banc said tend to indicate that my work might be harder than I initially imagined.

She said that her next relationship should be looking at marriage. I don’t mind that but she also said that the person she would marry is probably already working. Now, that worries me cos I’m still in school and even though I plan to be marriage-ready quickly, things don’t always work as you plan. Also, have I ever said that banc is older than me by exactly 11 months, 5 days??? But age is just a number, isn’t it???

The second thing she said that worries me a bit will not be understood without knowing the kind and nature of advice that I have received. Here’s a sampling of them (Yes, I know I’m a jew-man; I’ll add one to that, I’m nerdy too):

“Don’t start what you can’t finish” (Jide)

"...i think u should go visit her in her house and gist..." (A Kel called wonder)

“Be yourself” (Ayo)

"...there is no rush for anything in life. what is meant to be will be..." (Stuck in her throat)

“You don’t have to spend so much the first time” (Jide)

"...the beach?..well, as long as you have the van danme(did i spell it well) look, an ak45,pocket knife...cos when one of those igbo smoking agboros decide to obtain you of ur 'cab fare'...u go know.
u could buy snacks or chocolates, go to her house, just seat outside in your car...em...sorry...bicycle?..lol.but really, i think most girls are really impressed with conversational skills and realness in a guy, than how deep his pocket is(sometimes)..." (fantasy queen)

“Don’t plan what you are going to talk about” (Ugo)

"...beach ke? she might want to eat fish and chips. thats at least 800bucks?..." (femme)

“Ask her to show you around” (Tony)

“Make your intentions known early so you don’t get stuck as a “good friend” (Jide)

“Long distance relationships can work. Don’t wait till you graduate” (Jide)

Thanks Guys.

With reference to the last one above, she disagrees, “…likes her boyfriends around…”. Maybe, I’m thinking in fast-forward and will soon be tripping on my shoes-laces. I think from now on, I’ll maintain a wait-and-see posture and, as stuck-in-her-throat advised, let what will be, be.

In addition to all the advice I’ve received so far, I’ve learnt a few things on my own too:

The responsibility of keeping a conversation interesting isn’t yours alone; the other party also has a part to play.

Don’t judge your rating in the crush’s eye by the other people around her/him. As I was leaving, Some guys came around in a car (for the peeps who haven’t coded yet, my car was…some months away from reality) I may be wrong, but I think she didn’t mind being with me instead and the guys got impatient and left.

By the time my mind is through with the analysis of that day’s events I’ll have more “lessons”; it’s (my mind) currently facing an overload of information.

In the while, she moved a pawn when she called to thank me for visiting. My bishop now has access to her rook (who plays chess in here?). The next move is mine. I’ll keep y’all informed. Have a great day.