We thank God O!

Isn't (s)he pretty?

I’ve been for a while trying to figure out how the minds of Nigerian politicians work. Are they just plain, good-old, stupid? (Abi do they think we are the stupid ones?) Or wicked? Or greedy? Or childish? Hungry? Playful? As in what exactly drives them to act the way they do? As if to compound the mystery even further, some weeks ago I stumbled on Alamieseigha’s speech at his thanksgiving. Yes, that’s right…you heard me, thanksgiving. The things we see in Naija. A common thief escapes from UK for money laundering dressed as a woman. His men whom he incidentally stole from give him a hero’s welcome. He gets arrested in Nigeria and after wasting his time (abi was it ours?) he gets away with a slap on the wrist and foreign health care. After which he gets another hero’s welcome? Pays courtesy calls at the state house, does thanksgiving... Do you blame me for wanting to know how their minds work?

Anyway, at the kain thanksgiving, he gives some long speech about his “Journey through the valley of the shadow of death” (God and His Word has suffered at the hands of Nigerians). Here are some excerpts and a few of my more printable thoughts and comments. Knock ya self out:

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Oops! Fellow bloggers, never procrastinate O. I read the kain article and started my post while I was still burning with anger. When the anger subsided, I put the typing aside and promised myself that I would continue typing later. By the time later came, I couldn’t find the paper. I procrastinated looking and right now, there’s no hope of finding it anymore. Anyway, there’s one thing Alamieseigha said that I just can’t forget, for the mere stupidity of the comment. Let me give you that while I continue looking for the newspaper.

He said that while he was in Dubai (abi was it Germany?), he needed to travel to the UK and he called two of his children that were in the UK to fly down to meet him (wherever he was) so “they could help him carry his bags” that “we know he is an old man and can’t carry his bags alone”. Talk of stupidity my friends. Pay round-trip tickets for 2 children when you could have simply tipped a porter (abi na bell-hop, dem dey call those kain people). Or maybe that wasn’t the reason why he called his children down, maybe I’m over-estimating the stupidity of these guys. What I ask, nevertheless, is whether this is the kind of “wisdom” he has been using to administer Bayelsa state. Little wonder some exaggerators say that in his time, there was only one road in Bayelsa (I hope they were exaggerating o!)

That’s all peeps. (This last statement constantly reminds me of a former schoolmate who couldn’t tell jokes and deliver his punch line well and had to say stuff like that so we’d know the joke was over). Let me get back to looking for the paper.

P.S. As you must have noticed, I have something against Alamieyesigha. I don’t deny it. I know a lot of you excuse his troubles as a result of falling out without baba, I’ve heard my aunt say a couple of times, “…but Obasanjo is a bigger thief…”. Nevertheless, he should have been punished for the one he was caught for and when a government with liver comes in, they could feed on OBJ. As it stands now, Alamieseigha, Tafa and the rest like em’ have done their “fair” share of punishment and no future government would like to revisit their case.