Back!!!

Welcome blogville’s newest SCJP. (do I hear hands clapping?) Thank you, thank you, thank you. Like you must have gathered, I passed; Haters take note, this big head passed his SCJP and will soon be moving on to conquer the SCWCD and after that, the SCBCD, then the SCDJWS, then SCMAD, SCEA and then… enjoying the alphabet soup? Don’t rush it; eba is on its way.

I missed blogging. You guys cannot imagine how many times I wanted to just visit… had to resist the temptation; 30k was at stake. But you know how with every achievement, the achiever makes up a story to make it all the sweeter, well here’s mine:

I haven’t slept or taken a bath for the past 336 hours. Just been reading. That would make me really smelly; poor choice.

Let me try another. I prayed and fasted for 2 weeks non-stop. Too far from the truth; sad to say, but blogsville wasn’t the only part of my life hit by the exam preparations. Lord I’m sorry.

I haven’t stared at any fine girl for the last 2 weeks. Even me, I can’t believe that one; would make me either married or Stevie Wonder.

I haven’t thought of “big crush” for the past two weeks... I wish; I not only thought, I also called, texted and gisted about (about not with) her too.

Should I make it about TV? Yeah lemme try that one: I haven’t watched any movie, series, cartoon or lame bank advert in 2 weeks. God, are you seeing me?

Let me see… How about the truth? I slept at my office three times in one week, including a Sunday night, watched just 2 movies in 2 weeks, been having bread/yam for breakfast, rice for lunch and bread again/boli for dinner. Where’s the protein in that? Certainly not the huge piece of meat my mama-put DIDN’T give me. I must have added a few kg with all that sitting down to study and voracious eating (study makes for huge appetites, you know). So yes, I’m that fat kid who had to pay for 2 seats in the bus. Laugh all you want. You see, that the problem with the truth; its not sensational enough. But that’s it. That’s why I’ve been AWOL all this while. Thank God its over.

How’s everyone been over here? On my end, the air is fresh, the rain keeps falling, the one-legged chickens can’t come out to scrounge through our refuse, the traffic is same, the network has been busy, my credit has been low (as ever) and we may as well use our electricity pole to pluck mangoes. It seems a NEPA official got dissed by a girl that lives around here. Abi did I splash water on one of them while imaginarily driving around in my imaginary Mercedes S350? Abeg whatever it is, I on behalf of the whole Robert Mugabe street issue an official apology. Please give us light.

These NEPA people cannot imagine how much havoc they are causing. The most of which being the impact on my dressing. I now dress like a clown to work cos I can’t iron my better clothes. Pink t-shirt with lemon green trousers, polka-dot singlet on shorts, show-belle bra-top with skirt…did yu see anyone with any of those colourful combinations. Yep, it wasn’t me. But for real, I wore certain things I’ve avoided wearing forever for the first time last week. This weekend I’m definitely going to buy myself some more casual, no-need-for-iron clothes. I can’t afford a repeat. My already-battered dressing reputation is still reeling from last week’s hit.

On the other side of things, my cousins have been good, you would be surprised the amount of favour you’ll get from kids in exchange for a piece of chewing gum. I now stock up regularly on PK. Their (my cousins) selectivity (big word, huh?) has stepped up a bit and good old 4-for-5 naira robotron or 2-for-5 naira bubba doesn’t quite do the trick; PK is the minimum they’ll accept and not harass you for the next, say, 20 minutes. What are kids turning to these days?

My facebook account has also been enjoying a fair amount of popularity; I put up a class picture we took in JS 1 and at the last count, it had garnered 90 comments. We were basically having a class conversation there, reliving them memories. I’ll put up some of the funnier ones later.

I feel like updating forever but I have to start studying for my SCWCD. My textbook: SCWCD for Psychos hit by green meteor rocks. Authors: Clark Kent, Lana Lang, Lex Luthor and Chloe Sullivan. Publishers: Smallville books inc. I have just 2 episodes left of season 4…oops, I meant 2 chapters of the 4^th edition. And then, I move on to Alias SCWCD for dummies by Jennifer Garner. Can’t wait.

Big Crush update: Either fine girls are so nice or there’s something about the weather in Lagos that makes “big crush” endeavor to reply all text messages and even call occasionally. It must be the weather. Cos back in school where it’s a lot colder, you’ll be lucky to even get flashed. I called one girl that had been flashing the other day; when I asked why she hadn’t called, she said the weather was cold. So? Cold weather apparently, according to her, affects the network and makes it impossible to call. Now, that was news to even me, an electrical engineering major who’s done a few courses in communication. E mean say for winter Russians go pack their phone and buy stamps. Abeg MTN, Glo and Mtel take note and do something about it. Let’s see what excuse they’ll come up with next.